Reflective Practice in DIRFloortime: A Tool for Growth, Connection, and Compassion

DIRFloortime is a relationship-based approach that values emotional connection as the foundation for all learning and development. But what helps adults stay attuned, flexible, and responsive to children’s needs in the moment? The answer is reflective practice.

What Is Reflective Practice?

Reflective practice is the habit of looking inward, pausing to think about your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. It means asking yourself: What just happened? Why did I respond that way? What was going on for the child and for me? In the world of DIRFloortime, reflection isn't an optional add-on. It's a core skill that allows caregivers, therapists, and educators to remain grounded, curious, and emotionally available, even in the most challenging moments.

Instead of reacting automatically, reflective practitioners respond thoughtfully. And that difference can shape the entire tone of a child’s developmental journey.

Why Reflective Practice Matters

DIRFloortime focuses on engaging with a child at their emotional, developmental, and neurological level. But to do that well, we also have to know where we are, emotionally, physically, and mentally.

Reflective practice helps adults:

• Notice and regulate their own emotional states

• Stay connected even when interactions feel hard or confusing

• Adjust expectations in real time based on what the child is communicating

• Understand behavior as communication, not opposition

• Grow personally and professionally through curiosity and insight

When adults reflect on their interactions with children, they become more effective co-regulators, more compassionate problem-solvers, and more consistent sources of emotional safety.

What Reflective Practice Looks Like in Action

Reflective practice can take many forms, and it doesn’t require a lot of time, it is intention.

In the Moment

Imagine you're playing with a child who suddenly knocks over the blocks you’ve been building together. Your initial reaction might be frustration or confusion.

A reflective pause might sound like:

• “What’s going on for me right now? Am I feeling rushed or irritated?”

• “What might the child be communicating by knocking the blocks down?”

• “Is this a sensory need? A bid for connection? A moment of dysregulation?”

That quick inner dialogue helps you respond with curiosity instead of control.

After the Session or Interaction

You might take a few minutes to jot down some thoughts:

“When I introduced a new toy, she turned away and seemed disinterested. I felt like I had to ‘do more.’ But maybe she was overstimulated. Next time, I’ll follow her lead more closely instead of pushing for engagement.”Even brief reflections like this can shift how you approach the next interaction.

In Supervision or Team Discussions

In reflective supervision, the focus is not just on strategies, it is on the adult’s experience:

“I felt really unsure during that session. I kept trying to get a response, and I noticed I was becoming tense.” “What do you think that tension was about?” “Maybe I was worried I wasn’t doing enough.”These conversations normalize vulnerability and create space for growth.

Making Reflective Practice a Habit

Here are some ways to build reflection into your daily rhythm:

• Take a few minutes after a session or interaction to jot down what you noticed and felt.

• Ask reflective questions:

  • What was the child trying to tell me?

  • How did I feel during that moment?

  • What helped or hindered connection?

• Use mindfulness or breathing techniques to stay aware of your own nervous system.

• Seek out reflective supervision or peer discussions, not to “fix” things, but to explore them.

Reflection Is a Gift to the Child, and to Yourself

DIRFloortime invites us into deep, authentic relationships with children, relationships that require presence, flexibility, and empathy. Reflective practice gives us the tools to stay open, even when things feel messy or uncertain.

It reminds us that how we show up matters just as much as what we do.

By turning inward with compassion and curiosity, we become better partners in each child's journey, and better humans along the way.

Have a favorite reflective question or insight from your practice? Share it in the comments below. I’d love to hear how reflection shows up in your work!

If you are looking for a way to organized your thoughts and deepen your reflections through a DIRFloortime lens check out - A Journal For The Reflective Teacher on Amazon - link here