Using DIRFloortime to Facilitate Peer Engagement

Building meaningful friendships can be one of the most rewarding parts of childhood and also one of the most complex, especially for neurodivergent children. Genuine peer engagement requires more than social scripts or teaching turn-taking. It’s about helping each child feel connected, understood, and joyful in shared experiences.

At Aha Connections, we use the DIRFloortime® approach to nurture these kinds of authentic relationships. By focusing on emotional connection, individual strengths, and developmental growth. DIRFloortime provides a powerful foundation for supporting peer interactions that feel natural and rewarding.

What Is DIRFloortime®?

DIRFloortime is a relationship-based developmental model that focuses on promoting emotional connection, social interaction, and flexible thinking through play. Developed by Dr. Stanley Greenspan and Dr. Serena Wieder, DIR stands for Developmental, Individual-differences, and Relationship-base. The three key components that help us guide each child.

• Developmental: Supporting each child at their current developmental capacity, while helping them progress to higher capacities of social and emotional functioning.

• Individual-differences: Recognizing and respecting each child’s unique sensory profile, motor planning needs, and emotional style.

• Relationship-based: Using authentic, emotionally meaningful interactions to build trust, joy, and engagement.

DIRFloortime uses play as a powerful tool for connection, helping children build social communication, emotional regulation, and flexible thinking through joyful, meaningful interactions.

Peer Engagement Through Relationship-Based Play

Peer play can be a wonderful opportunity for children to practice emotional regulation, communication, and perspective-taking all within the natural context of shared joy. DIRFloortime helps adults (therapists, parents, teachers, and caregivers) facilitate these interactions in a way that honors each child’s individual profile while gently guiding them toward deeper social connection.

Here’s how DIRFloortime principles can be applied to support peer engagement:

1. Create Emotional Safety

Connection starts with safety. Before children can engage with peers, they need to feel calm and secure. Facilitators help create that sense of safety by adjusting sensory environments, using predictable routines, and following the child’s lead. When children feel comfortable, they’re more open to noticing and responding to others.

2. Follow Each Child’s Lead

DIRFloortime is rooted in following the child’s natural interests. During peer play, adults observe what each child finds exciting or engaging and use that as a bridge to shared play. These moments of connection can create authentic engagement and mutual enjoyment the building blocks of friendship.

3. Support Regulation and Co-Regulation

DIRFloortime places strong emphasis on emotional regulation as the cornerstone of social growth. As children learn to co-regulate with supportive adults, they gradually begin to use these skills with peers. This lays the foundation for empathy, turn-taking, and shared problem-solving. Over time, children begin to use these same tools to regulate themselves and connect more smoothly with peers.

4. Expand Circles of Communication

A central DIRFloortime goal is to build “circles of communication", the back-and-forth exchanges that expand engagement. During peer sessions, facilitators gently expand these circles by modeling responses, using playful affect, or introducing creative challenges that keep the interaction going.

5. Celebrate Individual Successes

Peer engagement looks different for every child. For one child, success might mean sharing space with another during play. For another, it might mean collaborating on a project or exchanging ideas in conversation. Each small step is worth celebrating because it reflects authentic growth and connection.

Practical Example

Imagine two children playing with toy animals. One child lines them up, while the other wants to make them talk. A DIRFloortime facilitator might narrate, “Your animals are marching in a parade! I wonder where they’re going?” This comment bridges both play styles and invites shared storytelling. Soon, both children are laughing and contributing ideas, naturally building engagement and connection.

The Heart of Peer Connection

At its core, DIRFloortime is about relationships. It is not compliance or scripted social skills. When children experience authentic joy and connection with others, they build the motivation and confidence to keep engaging, learning, and growing. At Aha Connections, we believe that every child deserves the opportunity to experience the delight of meaningful friendships. Through relationship-based play, we empower neurodivergent children to connect with peers in ways that feel natural, joyful, and uniquely their own.